Gus enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

As Handcuffs enters the battlefield, choose a player.

When the chosen player’s hands aren’t touching each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three permanents.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may remove a counter from a permanent you control. If you don’t, sacrifice Hungry Hungry Heifer.

Denimwalk (This creature can’t be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice I’m Rubber, You’re Glue.

Say “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you”: Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Flying, first strike

{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say “It’s coming!”: Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

({T}: Add {U}.)

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.

1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.

2 — Add {W}.

3 — Add {U}.

4 — Add {B}.

5 — Add {R}.

6 — Add {G}.

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Jester’s Sombrero: Look at target player’s sideboard, choose three cards from it, and remove those cards from the match.

Flying

As Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

First strike

{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to Knight of the Hokey Pokey this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Choose a land type. Exile all lands you control of that type. Drop those cards, one at a time, onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot. Destroy each permanent completely covered by those cards. Then return the cards you dropped to the battlefield tapped.

Whenever Lexivore deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than Lexivore with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.

When Mine, Mine, Mine! enters the battlefield, each player puts their library into their hand.

Players have no maximum hand size and don’t lose the game for drawing from an empty library.

Each player can’t cast more than one spell each turn.

When Mine, Mine, Mine! leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles their hand and graveyard into their library.

Mirror Mirror enters the battlefield tapped.

{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.